Fantasy Flyers and Flops from the 2013 Faculty Football Draft by Will McAvoy ‘15

AFC quarterback Peyton Manning, of the Indiana...

Here is a recap of the staff draft brought to you by Yahoo.

Led by a Stellar WR Corps, Parmanian Devils Threatens as a Legitimate Title Contender: Draft Grade A-

A masterful draft-day performance by the GM of The Parmanian Devils (an anonymous administrator from the fair state of Parmania) turned the ninth overall pick into a projected third-place finish. They’re expected to finish 11-3-0 (1,337 points) in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League. Parmanian Devils stocked up on pass-catching weapons early on, using three of their first five selections to pick up WRs Calvin Johnson (first round), Victor Cruz (third round), and Pierre Garcon (fourth round). That early positional investment yielded the top threesome of WRs in the league.

Week 9 is shaping up to be a tricky one for The Parmanian Devils. Among all weeks this season, it has both their largest number of players (5) and projected fantasy points on bye. From a projected points standpoint, they have a weaker-than-average slate. Along with having the seventh-easiest overall schedule, The Parmanian Devils also has the second-softest last four games of the season. The Parmanian Devils has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Led by a Stellar WR Corps, StadiumFootballGuys Have All the Pieces for Greatness: Draft Grade: A-

A masterful draft-day performance by the GM of StadiumFootballGuys (another anonymous Edwardian admin) turned the 10th overall pick into a projected first-place finish. They’re expected to finish 13-1-0 (1,346 points) in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League. With their first five picks, StadiumFootballGuys focused on balance, selecting QB Colin Kaepernick (38th overall), RBs Arian Foster (10th) and Frank Gore (47th), and WRs Julio Jones (19th) and Jordy Nelson (66th). They landed the highest-scoring pair of RBs in the league, as they picked up Foster and Gore for their fantasy stable.

With the most players (4) and most projected fantasy points on bye, Week 9 might require some waiver-wire magic from the coach of StadiumFootballGuys. From a projected points standpoint, they have one of the easiest slates in the league. StadiumFootballGuys could run into an early buzzsaw, as the first four games of their season are projected to be more difficult than the league average. StadiumFootballGuys has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Projected to Finish in Fourth Place at 11-3-0, Hilty’s Linehackers Hopes to Land Among the League’s Elite

When a bottom-half draft slot yields top-half results, that’s the sign of a strong effort by the GM (a tech teacher to be named later). Such was the case with Hilty’s Linehackers, which flipped its 11th overall pick into a projected fourth-place finish in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League (11-3-0, 1,332 points). With their first five picks, Hilty’s Linehackers focused on balance, selecting QB Robert Griffin III (46th overall), RBs Matt Forte (11th) and David Wilson (18th), and WRs Vincent Jackson (39th) and Steve Smith (67th). They landed one of the worst combos of QBs in the league, as they added Griffin III and Brandon Weeden.

With the most players (3) and most projected fantasy points on bye, Week 5 might require some waiver-wire magic from the coach of Hilty’s Linehackers. They have a softer-than-average schedule when factoring in opponents’ projected points. Although they have the sixth-easiest overall schedule, Hilty’s Linehackers actually has the second-toughest first four games of the season. Hilty’s Linehackers has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

 Slated for a Second-Place Finish (12-2-0), Clustercussers Threatens as a Legitimate Title Contender

 Coinciding with a juicy draft position (third overall), Clustercussers had an outstanding performance. They’re projected to finish second in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League with a record of 12-2-0 (1,329 points). Clustercussers (managed by an anonymous English teacher) opted for balance early, selecting QB Peyton Manning (26th overall), RB Ray Rice (3rd), WR Randall Cobb (31st), and TE Rob Gronkowski (59th) within the first five rounds. They have a better-than-average set of RBs, as they scooped up Rice, Chris Ivory, Le’Veon Bell, and Knowshon Moreno for their rotation.

Week 9 might require some artful managing by the coach of Clustercussers. Among all weeks this season, it has both their largest number of players (5) and projected fantasy points on bye. They have one of the least challenging schedules in the league when factoring in opponents’ projected points. Along with having the fourth-easiest overall schedule, Clustercussers has the league’s easiest first four games and most difficult last four games of the season. Starting in Week 9, Clustercussers will have to navigate a tricky part of the schedule, squaring off against projected top-tier teams in the league three times in a five-game span.

In Spite of Some Early-Round Reaches, Cari’s Crazy Team Looks to Have a Breakthrough Campaign

Cari’s Crazy Team parlayed a solid draft slot (fifth overall) into a respectable performance. With a mark of 7-7-0 (1,292 points), they’re projected to finish sixth in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League. Cari’s Crazy Team (led by a prominent Northeast Ohio campus minister) opted for balance early, selecting QB Tom Brady (24th overall), RB LeSean McCoy (5th), WR Eric Decker (52nd), and TE Vernon Davis (33rd) within the first five rounds. They ended up with one of the worst threesomes of WRs in the league, as they picked up Decker, Kenny Britt and Brandon LaFell for their fantasy stable.

Whether by good fortune or well-planned strategy, Cari’s Crazy Team has secured a favorable bye week schedule for their superstars. Of their top five players in projected points, none share a common off week. They have a harder-than-average schedule when factoring in opponents’ projected points. Along with the seventh-most grueling overall schedule, both the first four games and last four games of the season are about league-average difficulty for Cari’s Crazy Team. Cari’s Crazy Team has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Despite a Powerful Set of RBs, mjayne’s Team Sits Outside the Upper Tier (The winner of most creative team name)

A mediocre draft slot can often result in a mediocre draft performance. Picking eighth overall, mjayne’s Team (led by an anonymous PE teacher) is projected to land in ninth place in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League with a record of 6-8-0 (1,302 points). mjayne’s Team loaded up on ballcarriers early, using three of their first five picks to scoop up RBs Jamaal Charles (first round), DeMarco Murray (third round), and Lamar Miller (fourth round). Going hand-in-hand with that early investment, they acquired the top set of RBs in the league.

With the most players (5) and most projected fantasy points on bye, Week 8 figures to test the depth of mjayne’s Team. They have one of the easiest slates in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League when factoring in opponents’ projected points. mjayne’s Team will need to be playing their best as the playoffs approach, as the last four games of their season are projected to be more difficult than the league average. mjayne’s Team has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Led by a Terrific Group of RBs, Mist and Shadow Hopes to Land Among the League’s Elite

When a bottom-half draft slot yields top-half results, that’s the sign of a strong effort by the GM (an administrator to be named later). Such was the case with Mist and Shadow, which flipped its 13th overall pick into a projected fifth-place finish in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League (11-3-0, 1,320 points). Mist and Shadow jumped on ballcarriers early and often, using their first three selections to grab RBs Alfred Morris (13th overall), Stevan Ridley (16th), and Reggie Bush (41st). Corresponding with that strategy, they landed the best set of RBs in the league.

With the most players (5) and most projected fantasy points on bye, Week 9 looks to be a tough one for Mist and Shadow. From the perspective of opponents’ projected points, they have a less-challenging-than-average slate. Mist and Shadow will need to be playing their best as the playoffs approach, as the last four games of their season are projected to be more difficult than the league average. Mist and Shadow has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Despite a Formidable Set of WRs, Buk’s Bandits Sits Outside the Upper Tier

A mediocre draft slot can often result in a mediocre draft performance. Picking 14th overall, Buk’s Bandits (led by America’s favorite English teacher) is projected to land in 10th place in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League with a record of 5-9-0 (1,266 points). Buk’s Bandits stocked up on pass-catching weapons early on, using three of their first five selections to pick up WRs Dez Bryant (first round), A.J. Green (second round), and Mike Wallace (fifth round). Corresponding with that strategy, they landed one of the top quartets of WRs in the league.

Whether by good fortune or well-planned strategy, Buk’s Bandits has secured a favorable bye week schedule for their superstars. Of their top five players in projected points, none share a common off week. From the perspective of opponents’ projected points, they have a more-difficult-than-average schedule. In addition to having the sixth-most grueling overall schedule, Buk’s Bandits has the toughest first four games of the season. Buk’s Bandits has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Although They Stretched a Bit for Some Early Picks, 27 Saints Looks to Have a Breakthrough Campaign

27 Saints (chosen by St. Eds most fantasy savvy admin) parlayed a solid draft slot (seventh overall) into a respectable performance. With a mark of 7-7-0 (1,261 points), they’re projected to finish seventh in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League. With their first five picks, 27 Saints focused on balance, selecting QB Drew Brees (22nd overall), RBs C.J. Spiller (7th) and Giovani Bernard (50th), and WRs Andre Johnson (35th) and Hakeem Nicks (63rd). They have one of the lowest-scoring foursomes of RBs in the league, as they picked up Spiller, Bernard, Jacquizz Rodgers, and Isaac Redman for their fantasy stable.

Week 8 looks to be a tough one for 27 Saints. Among all weeks this season, it has both their largest number of players (6) and projected fantasy points on bye. From the perspective of opponents’ projected points, they have the least challenging schedule in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League. Corresponding with the easiest overall schedule, 27 Saints also has the league’s second-easiest first four games and softest last four games of the season. An especially difficult stretch might begin in Week 2, when 27 Saints battles the projected top-tier teams for two straight games.

With a Projected Finish of 11th (3-11-0), Froelich’s Robotniks Looks to Defy the Pundits

The poor draft position for Froelich’s Robotniks (a team drafted by a robot built by the Edwardian engineering department) proved too great an obstacle to overcome. After selecting 12th overall, they’re projected to finish 11th in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League with a record of 3-11-0 (1,237 points). Froelich’s Robotniks waited until the sixth round to grab their first RB, scooping up Darren McFadden with the 73rd overall pick. They ended up with the least prolific trio of RBs in the league, as they added McFadden, Shonn Greene, and Johnathan Franklin.

Week 5 looks to be a tough one for Froelich’s Robotniks, as it is the week when the most players (4) and most projected fantasy points are on bye. From a projected points standpoint, they have a more-difficult-than-average schedule. Froelich’s Robotniks could run into an early buzzsaw, as the first four games of their season are projected to be more difficult than the league average. Froelich’s Robotniks has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Despite a Powerful Set of RBs, Jim’s comeback kidz Lands Closer to the Bottom Than the Top

Jim’s comeback kidz (managed by an anonymous administrator) couldn’t weave their first overall selection into fantasy gold. They’re projected to end up eighth in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League with a mark of 7-7-0 (1,234 points). Jim’s comeback kidz was quick to scoop up a pair of passers, using two of their first four picks to grab QBs Matt Ryan (second round) and Andrew Luck (third round). They ended up with the lowest-scoring set of WRs in the league, as they picked up Vincent Brown, Greg Little, Denarius Moore, and Michael Crabtree for their fantasy stable.

Whether by good fortune or well-planned strategy, Jim’s comeback kidz has secured a favorable bye week schedule for their superstars. Of their top five players in projected points, none share a common off week. From the perspective of opponents’ projected points, they have a more-challenging-than-average slate. Along with the fourth-most grueling overall schedule, both the first four games and last four games of the season are about league-average difficulty for Jim’s comeback kidz. Jim’s comeback kidz has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Despite a Powerful Set of RBs, Cecil B. DaBears Still Has Work To Do

Despite selecting in the top half of the first round (fourth overall), Cecil B. DaBears (drafted by a member of the film department) looks a little soft on paper. They’re projected to finish 12th in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League with a record of 3-11-0 (1,227 points). With their first five picks, Cecil B. DaBears focused on balance, selecting QB Cam Newton (32nd overall), RBs Trent Richardson (4th) and Steven Jackson (25th), and WRs Reggie Wayne (53rd) and DeSean Jackson (60th). They ended up with one of the best quartets of RBs in the league, as they added Richardson, Jackson, Shane Vereen, and Bryce Brown.

Whether by good fortune or well-planned strategy, Cecil B. DaBears has secured a favorable bye week schedule for their superstars. Of their top five players in projected points, none share a common off week. They have one of the most challenging slates in the league when factoring in opponents’ projected points. Along with having the third-most grueling overall schedule, Cecil B. DaBears also has the second-most difficult last four games of the season. Cecil B. DaBears has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

With a Projected Finish of 13th (2-12-0), Jason’s Super Team Knows That Championships Aren’t Won on Paper

Despite selecting in the top half of the first round (sixth overall), Jason’s Super Team (drafted by a member of the math department)  looks a little soft on paper. They’re projected to finish 13th in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League with a record of 2-12-0 (1,123 points). With their first five picks, Jason’s Super Team focused on balance, selecting QB Russell Wilson (51st overall), RBs Marshawn Lynch (6th) and Chris Johnson (23rd), and WRs Roddy White (34th) and James Jones (62nd). They ended up with one of the worst sets of WRs in the league, as they added White, Jones, Tavon Austin, and Doug Baldwin.

Week 8 might test the managerial chops of the Jason’s Super Team coach. Among all weeks this season, it has both their largest number of players (3) and projected fantasy points on bye. From the perspective of opponents’ projected points, they have one of the hardest schedules in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League. Jason’s Super Team has the opportunity to exit the gates quickly, as the first four games of their season are projected to be less difficult than the league average. Jason’s Super Team has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Despite a Formidable Set of WRs, AZ Cardinals in OH Appears Destined for the Basement

AZ Cardinals in OH was unable to capitalize on their fortuitous draft position. Despite selecting second overall, they’re projected to finish 14th in S.T.A.F.F. Infection League with a mark of 0-14-0 (1,080 points). AZ Cardinals in OH stocked up on pass-catching weapons early on, using three of their first five selections to pick up WRs Demaryius Thomas (second round), Larry Fitzgerald (third round), and Torrey Smith (fourth round). Corresponding with that strategy, they landed the top set of WRs in the league.

With the most players (4) and most projected fantasy points on bye, Week 8 might require some waiver-wire magic from the coach of AZ Cardinals in OH. From the perspective of opponents’ projected points, they have the most challenging schedule in the league. AZ Cardinals in OH has the opportunity to close with a hot streak, as the last four games of their season are projected to be less difficult than the league average. AZ Cardinals in OH has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

The Edsman  will continue our coverage of the league as it unfolds. Good luck to the participants!

Members of  the faculty and staff have played in a fantasy football league together for 5 years and this Edsman reporter has been granted full access to recap the league this season. Each week the paper will be bringing you recaps on which teachers dominated the competition and which fell flat on their fantasy faces.